All The Memories

I think that it’s amazing that there is a time in the year that compels you to reflect upon life, give thanks for family and friends, and those who have had some impact on life. As for me, there is not a day where I do not give thanks for everyone who have come into my life. When I was talking to Lisa tonight, when all the crazy inside jokes were put aside, I brought up the idea of going back to high school and just changing some things, namely, when we became friends, when we became close, and when everything would fall into place. While we were on the subject, it hit me: I was not only thankful for the friends that I have, but the fact that I still learn from those friends, that we still actually keep in touch with each other, and how it shows the power of connection. There are four people in my life who I believe have grown to connect with in more ways than one. I think that it’s amazing to realize that these friendships started off Junior year of high school, strengthened during Senior year, and continue to bind as we are all in College. It’s amazing that as our friendships bloomed into something greater, each one of them have impacted different aspects of my life: I felt like I belonged somewhere, I overcame that fear of just singing for people, I felt like nothing could go wrong, that I could be myself and I could give a shit about who sees, and most of all I knew that with these people around, the sky’s the limit. I think that it’s proper for me to present them to you, the reader, in the way that I remember them and their impact in my life (of course, in no particular order)

 

Lisa

“soulmate and girlfriend” (among the other inside jokes that we have)…we met in Rao’s Sacraments Class & Pacheco’s Honors Chem Class. The rest, as they say, is history. I believe that in the hectic lives of college people, there seems to be a couple people who is willing to just take the time out of their day just check up on you see if anything is going down…she is one of those people. It’s hard to say how we became friends because I honestly don’t remember, but it took until the time after graduation, the summer before college that we became really close. This girl and our ridiculous inside jokes, our random pick up lines, and just the fact that with everything going on in life, we manage to find a way to be going through really similar things at the same exact time. It is pretty creepy sometimes, but it’s all good. She just texted me saying that she should be in this post, and hey, you got it Lisa. Heyyyyyyyyyyy girlll heyyyyyyy: thanks for everything, our 2 or 3am talks when I just can’t sleep and you happen to be awake She is one of those people who always has that listening ear, who I can have a serious conversation with and throw something completely random, and we’d always end up back to our serious mode. To know her is a blessing in itself. To have a conversation with her, you’d get so much to think about, you’d feel so much better. I don’t know how I would have survived summer if it was not for her. The only thing that is missing, is us seeing each other…for the first time since Graduation. Or even visiting her at her dream job. Just spending time with her could make any day brighter. And that’s fact. 

 

Trish

DAMN. okay. Where do I start. I still remember when our friendship started and how far we’ve gone from there. I believe it was spring state, JSA, junior year, you asked me if I knew how to play Franklin or My Hero and I said that I’d learn it for you….and by yearbook picnic, there we were, up on that stage for the first time as a Hayley-Josh but by far it will not be the last. Fast Forward to Senior year…Kairos 35, that was ridiculous that we found out so much about each other during that Emmaus walk, established our FBFF status. Up until graduation, I never took for granted what this girl had to offer the world, what this girl meant to me, and how until now, we still connect the same way that we have in the past. I can say that she is the very first girl I’ve performed with on stage and it was an amazing experience. And now that we’re in college, there are changes, and she knows how much I have changed, rather, how much I’ve been changing, and she is there, she has my back, she encourages me to be more open, to be more of myself, to just have fun and experience life in a way that is different from high school. Many people can say how things bring them together, how by fate things happen…as for us? We can say that a band brought us together, we can say that Paramore sparked our friendship to jump beyond how it was before. Who else can say that they have adopted Jamie from One Tree Hill just because they can? I don’t know about you, but knowing this girl is too much of a gift, too much of a blessing, I’m surprised I can handle it and at the same time, I’m thankful that I have it. I only wish that her dance skills rub off on me. Trish, Twisheee, I don’t know what else to say about her…it’s a matter of “there’s so many amazing things about her, that it leaves me speechless”. She brings the singer out of me, she helps me remember that to be myself is one of the best things about me. I can say the same thing about her, to know her is to love her, that’s just how it goes. I always think back and I cannot even imagine her not being in my life. She is one person i MUST have in my life, with all the crazy shit that i can get myself into, she’s there to hear it all. I love this girl to death, when I start singing she’d be one of the first to jump on that and sing me, and that, my friends is commitment. To keep in touch with her as we go our separate ways brings fresh air in this world of smog, a light in this world of darkness, a friend in this world of hostility. I just think that it’s coincidental that our first names start with a J and T…her favorite!:  J.T. get it? hmm? Trish, FBFF, if you’re reading this. the next shindig…I’ll let you know how it goes, if I can, get it? get it? :] In all seriousness, reader, if there is one point I want to get across about her it’s this: She has so much to offer the world, to know her is a blessing, to call her my friend I can trust is soothing, but most of all, for HER to call ME a FRIEND, her “Jeffweee” is LOVE. 

 

Mariel

Oh God. What haven’t I said about you? I know this girl, therefore and I wake up with a smile every day, and my life is much more whole. Bold statement, don’t you think? I have always been a man of written words when talking about this girl, I’ve always thought that me merely saying what she means to me would always drift off eventually, but by writing them down, as I am now, I (and she) could always go back to them and rekindle the memories that are associated with them. I have always held her with such high regard, and she does live up to them. We’ve been through so much together, and in that span from having Woolsey together Junior year to having 10 million classes together Senior year (hEcon, APGov, APBio, Church, APLit) we have grown to learn about one another, we have learned how to make each other laugh, we have learned how to pick each other up when feeling low. I still remember Adopt-A-Grandparent and our time there, just seeing her bringing the same light and radiance to the elderly as she does for me, I admire her for that. I still remember the countless number of times when I’d freak out about the future, and Mariel was there to say “okay hun, you need to calm down, just take a break because you need one.” And as rough as it was coming from her, I knew she was right, I knew that somewhere down the line, I can overpass boundaries, but she was there to keep me in check, especially when I feared losing her in my life. And I am so thankful for that. There is just too much to say about her in this blog. At first, I didn’t know where to start, and now I don’t know where to end. What I know for sure is that as I type this out, I think of her and how grateful I am for her and everything, and should she read this, I hope she’ll think about me and all the memories. There’s nothing more I could ask for from her. She is my wifey, she is my Inspiration, she is my Muse, she is my Peyton, she is my voice of reason, she is the rational person when I am being stubborn, and most of all she is a part of my life. Without her, I don’t know what kind of person I’d be, I wouldn’t know what to do with all my joys, even with all my hard times. If there’s one thing you need to know about our friendship, it’s this: Don’t judge us, don’t judge that we have reached a certain point of our friendship where we can call each other “hun” or “husband” or “wifey”, don’t shit talk about us because you just don’t understand how we’ve developed and just how much we’ve gone through, just how much this girl has gotten me through the craziest times, and how she has told me that I had helped her get through so many things as well; just know that we are proof that friendships have different degrees, different manifestations..just know that our bond is almost unbreakable, that we can only develop our friendship more and it is the smallest things that make each other’s day, from a simple “hi” to an “I miss you”; to know her is as if someone whispered in my ear,  ”here is one of many who will influence you greatly, take care of her, cherish your moments together, love her unconditionally and she will do the same, know that she is someone special”; I truly love this girl to death, she’s always down to sing with me (oh, for old times sake…”B-B-B-BENNY AND THE JETTSSSSSSS!!”) and if an entire fast food chain reminds you about each other, there MUST be something special (<3TacoBell); she is the one person whom I am blessed to have walked into my life, having our ups and downs, overcoming them, but in the end, we can walk hand in hand and say “damn, look at us, we’re fucking amazing”.

 

Lauren

GF! She brings the “wild side” out of me, I know I hardly show it when I’m around, but it takes a special someone to be around and everything just comes out. She is that someone where I can just be stupid and I’d know that she’d be right there to join me….either that, or to tell me “Jeffy…um no”. Your randomness and your crazy noises helped me get through so much that it’s impossible to see myself back at Amat, sitting in Literature singing my face-off without Lauren, Trish, and Mariel singing along with me. Some people would stare, other people would think I’m some sort of creep…but she (and they) just get me. It’s just crazy to think that she and trish are too much of twins, but as they say “double the pleasure, double the fun” I just find myself in great company when Lauren is around. I actually don’t remember just how our friendship started, and that’s a memory that I wish I had, but the more important part is that our friendship now, would not have been without that beginning, without that moment in time that brought us together. As with the others, I just wish that I had that time back in high school, that 4 years back, if there’s one thing I would have changed, it would be that I would have gotten to know them earlier. But in retrospect, I believe that although we would be much closer as friends, to fathom that my friendship with her, as with the other 3 mentioned in this post, began at the same time…but reached the point where I am able to speak about them in this way, is just too perfect. Lauren has always been there to motivate me, to encourage me, and with those crazy faces, allowed me to slowly leave my shell. Without Lauren, I really don’t know if I would still be that shy guy I was freshman year of high school. To know her is a trip that is hard to understand, BUT to be her friend is a blessing that you would not experience until you know her, until you’ve sat down with her, had a conversation with her and to just get to spend time with each other. Until then, you have no idea what she has to offer in your life. I’m one of the lucky ones. 

If you four happen to read this, your letters should have been sent already and yeahh…if things sound similar, my bad haha, there’s only so many ways .

In the end, I guess I’ve learned just to be open to everyone in life. Befriend people, get to know them, spend time with them, call them (hell, if you’re not a talker like me, text them). You never know the kind of impact they will have in your life: the voice of reason when you’re stubborn, the calming voice when you just don’t know how to act, the friend to get into trouble with you BECAUSE they’re doing it with you. All sorts of people in the world, allow them to be a part of your life, I have, and they are a blessing, they are a treasure, I believe that these are the types of friends that you can consider angels sent to help guide you. The word “thanks” isn’t enough for these four and for ALL my friends, it’s just too crazy to think that thanksgiving is just for one day. It should be every day, it should be what drives you to wake up every day with the vigor and confidence that you hold. Be thankful for what you have, be thankful for who you know, be thankful for what you know, be thankful for life. 

PS. Look out for Part 2 of this (My Otereos, I have not forgotten about you) and Part 3 (Bestest, You get your own post!)

Way with Words

I am currently at home after another crazy week from college, and I can’t help but sit here and think about high school and how things were so much easier way back when. How 4 years ago, I was some high school freshman just wanting to find where my classes were and what seat I was assigned to, and how eventually, I found myself at the top of the high school chain, a “big bad senior” where everything went smoothly, well, okay not really. And now, I’m a college freshman…kicking me in the face because I cannot focus, and how I become anxious as to how my college life will go. I find courage with my newly made friends, however, I find confidence for myself to press forward. 

Whenever I found myself stressing out and whatnot, there they were Kathryn, Tracy, Bahadur, Kevin, Jesse, Fonzo, James, Richard, Justin, Jeannie, Kristine, Marisa, Grayson, Spence, and everyone else to keep me on my feet. This is college. Week 7 at UCI, and I’ve found another family: TriAlpha, the Light Lunch Crew, Suite 103. For the next couple weeks, days, whatever it takes me to get back on track, I will have to get down to business and sadly, somewhat isolate myself until I find myself back into the focus I had in high school. 

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I think that although we’re so far away, and of course, I use that phrase loosely, that some people still want to keep in touch with me. By my senior year in high school, I’ve always known who my true friends were and I could count them on my hands. It’s pretty crazy to note that graduation was about 5 months ago and how time goes by so fast. In that time, there has been probably 5 or so people from Amat who still contact me and can still have a conversation with me as if we’re right next to each other. 

Mary…Best Friend, I dont even know where to begin. you know my life and I know yours. i dont know how else to describe out friendship. imagine that…South Hills Academy as little kinder kids and now, we’re adults. United and Reunited. You know how long I could make this part, so in lieu of boring the reader, just remember that bestest, i’m always here for you. i love you very much! remember… 11:11 always

Mariel … Peyton, my wife, my “other half”, Earth Angel, my friend; you’ve always told me that I had a way with words, that you’ve always looked forward to what I had to write for you, that I should try and get my stories for you published, and well, if you ever see this post, if there’s one thing that I’d love for you to read…it would be this: 

“Book II, Chapter 1 – The Only Gift I Need

And so Jeff began to write: “I love you. turn the world upside down, make the earth spin the other way…it wouldn’t matter, the love I have for you will never change. Hun, you are one of the very few of my friends who gets me; it doesn’t matter if I look stupid or say something wayy off, you get me, you’d even join me too! haha. At any time, I can turn to you and that you could turn to me. Like I’ve told you before, you’ve set the bar for me…i dare any other girl to surpass that. Every time I feel like I just can’t handle stress or when I just need that pick-me-up, I turn to the yearbook to read your message for me, it’s the only reason why I brought it along with me. I think it’s pretty funny how as I’m typing and reading this, I’m thinking of you, and should you ever read this, you’d be thinking of me. That’s just supamafanorgasmarvelous! But in all seriousness, I’m so blessed to have you in my life. I honestly wish more girls were like you, you know I hold you in such high regard and that’s no mistake. I’d write more if I could, and you know I would in a heartbeat, from our Long distance phone calls in class, our 99 cent taco bell connection, “I thought it was a trainset!” randomness, listening to music together in AP Bio, messing around in AP Lit and singing some New Found Glory and whatever happens to pop into my head, and how I wish I can play your song for you. Hun, babe, whatever names we have for each other…the fact of the matter is this: the love we have for each other is but an understatement, I believe that our friendship surpasses that. You know that I’m always here for you and that you can count on me. I so carefully use the phrase “i love you” nowadays as I find it harder to say, but I love you, hun, there’s no doubt about it. oh and yeah you’re right Jeffrey and Mariel sounds better than Lucas and Peyton ” he sat back and ended his letter: “Always,
your husband, your Lucas, Jeff.” And there it started again, the stories continue despite the distance, and he hopes that he continues to be inspired, and knows that one day they will reunite once again. “

I miss you so much hun. I hope you’ll come and visit me one day!  

Lisa! we’ve gotten so close over the past year, it’s crazy. you should still come visit me sometime! you know you miss those random TEE HEEs and all those random noises I would make in class. From Pacheco to Sacraments to AP Bio, this summer has been crazy from our random 2-3am conversations to my random rants and ravings on the phone. you got your dream job and I still remember your reaction when you told me. Lisaface, thank you for being there for me  

Matt! my brother. Nathan! damn how’s Davis? remember our little OTH reunions in AP Bio…those were the times where I felt most “at home” at Amat, knowing that there was Nate and Peyton and that nothing could split that apart. I still remember our heart to heart talks, bro. Those were pretty intense and everything that had happened eventually found its way through. We definitely need to have a OTH reunion. Come back down to SoCal, brother we all miss you a lot. 

DAMN. this felt like writing in yearbooks all over again, but I don’t mind taking time out of my hectic and busy life to reflect, to reminisce, to thank those who I barely see anymore for still being there for me. I do hope I see you all soon. Remember, my door, my hall, my suite is open for you all. I’d be proud to introduce you all as “the friends to helped me be me” throughout high school. Thank you all. I miss you all.

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I think that is quite enough for my first rant. To have enough substance, I believe that the correct inspiration is needed. To have the correct inspiration, I believe that I need to step out and breathe the fresh air and to analyze my surroundings. To analyze my surroundings, I need my eyes and the right guidance. From there, ex meo animo scribo, “I write from my heart”. 

Until then reader, 
J!

Time Turns Fragile

So, here I am on a new medium, typing out my thoughts, my rants, my spontaneous outflow of words.

It’s been 5 weeks since classes have started and sad to say, I am not in school mode. Midterms have been an eye-opener for me and has motivated me to focus on school first and foremost. I have fallen into the category of still feeling that I’m in high school; fallen into the “I-still-have-senioritis” mindset. Now that I have my priorities in mind, I cannot allow for me to fall into the path that I have taken this past 5 weeks. It has been stated by Denis Waitley, “Procrastination is the fear of success…” and with this quote in mind, I refuse to, with the best of my abilities, fall back.

Now all I can do is look ahead, leave the past behind, and to press forward. 
Week 6 will begin in 11 hours, I will regain my focus.

Until next time, reader. 

-J!